Location: Mission Statement

Discussion: I've done some edits. . .Reported This is a featured thread

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Sallijane
I've done some edits. . .
Feb 21 2010, 9:00 AM EST | Post edited: Feb 21 2010, 9:00 AM EST
. . . posted as a new thread rather than editing the working document until I got some feedback, as these changes are fairly substantial. Here they are:
Mission Statement
We are a proud, informal association of supporters of President Obama during his campaign who believe in the president's call for hope and a new kind of politics. Our ultimate mission is to restore fundamental principles of American Constitutional Law to a range of national security laws while preserving essential national security authorizations.
Vision Statement
Our vision is one of an America that is both free and secure. We see an America in which the federal government is able to detect, track, and block terrorists, but also in which the ordinary citizen is not afraid of the government nor of his or her neighbors—an America in which every citizen understands that in all just wars people are required to sacrifice. Our view of America is one in which added citizen and government vigilance does not involve destroying basic Constitutional protections.
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JonPincus
JonPincus
1. RE: I've done some edits. . .
Feb 28 2010, 2:40 PM EST | Post edited: Feb 28 2010, 2:40 PM EST
Great editing, Sally, thanks much.

I tweaked the structure by separating out "who we are" from the mission statement, and added a couple of questions for discussion -- i left comments in http://get-fisa-right.wetpaint.com/thread/3726887/ and on the blog.
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Sallijane
2. Now that the Mission Statement is a single sentence. . .
Mar 1 2010, 12:45 AM EST | Post edited: Mar 1 2010, 12:45 AM EST
. . . I realize that it could be improved—use of “law(s)” and “national security” twice each within one sentence isn't great.
I do like separating “Who we are” from the mission statement—maybe “Our history” rather than “Who we are”, as we expect to expand beyond the campaign supporters.
I made some changes to the statement itself.
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